Hunting Adventure
5.31.2010
Home Again...
Home Again
Today Alan came home to see a trap door leading down into the depths of the netherworld on the floor in the middle of his sitting room. This mysterious door was left open and emerging from it was a skinless hellhound which barked fire and drooled asparagus pee. Alan had never in his memory confronted such a nasty beast and was certainly not expecting such an encounter to take place in his own home. As the hellhound snarled and dripped its oozy juices all on the carpet; Alan went through his mental rolodex of emotions searching for what could be an appropriate response to address the current situation. Fear was too obvious an emotion and Alan had experimented with fear all too frequently in his day to day life and was probably what held him back from accomplishing his goals. Sadness seemed like a good way to go and it fit the mood set by being eaten alive by a hellbeast - that is- if one had opted out of going for fear. Why go out on a sad note?- Alan thought. It was at that point that that he became deeply aroused, as if something ignited in his core. Yes, Alan decided that he would hump this hellhound back into the firey dark world that it sprung out of. Then Alan would follow that beast to its home and go on a raping spree of all the demons and ghouls in its neighborhood so that all of hell would know and fear Alan's mighty shaft. This was a very pleasant thought for Alan to enjoy as the crazed beast approached, Alan loosened his belt, readying himself for the battle that was about to begin. The skinless monster came right up to Alan, then continued walking past him, down the hall, to the washroom, and helped itself to Alan's toilet where it proceeded to quench its thirst and -no doubt- rinse out that asparagus pee taste. Poor guy must have just been thirsty, and he came such a long way. Look at him lap up that water like he had not had a drink in years. The creature seemed to touch Alan's heart and -in a way- bring something to his home that had been missing--company. Alan named the wretched nightmare, Gus, and he dressed Gus up in a furry coat when it got cold outside and Gus ate up all the mean kids in the neighborhood and when there were no more mean kids, Gus ate the nice kids and when there were no more nice kids... well that is a whole nother story for a different time. Needless to say, Gus and Alan had a great life together and it was filled with many adventures.
5.30.2010
Easter Sundae
Easter Sundae
Once a week the houses are all empty and the dwellers have left to gather down the street at a large building and join hands and sing praises to their favorite god or goddess. Mozark found that it was at this time when the empty streets and quiet ally ways called out to him and asked for his company on yet another glorious day that he could share with the whisper of his feet and the earth below him. Today was most disappointing, however, because one of the gatherings of worshipers decided that today was a good day to leave their big building and find more people that would go there with them next week. Mozark pretended not to see them approach and sped up in the opposite direction, but the herd of smiling heavy-set suit-wearing solicitors shot into full sprint powered by bacon grease, sugar, and song. As it was, Mozark was a creature who would avoid nonsense but he would run from nothing, so the flock finally found themselves face to face with their target. Mozark grinned and nodded his head as the leader of the group went on and on about how amazing the book he held with both hands in front of his own throbbing liver was. He flicked the beads of sweat off his red brow and told Mozark about how this book had magic abilities and would make even the worst person whole and happy. These people were ruining Mozark's quality time with the sky and the grass; he heard the breeze whisper suggestions of homicide so that he would give her his full attention. He knew that destroying these people would be easy, but if he tore them apart life would become more complicated for him. So Mozark reached into the earth and snatched up a fat hairless mole-rabbit that he had heard rumbling below his feet. The heavy-set suit-man stopped talking and his minions gasped in chorus as Mozark held forth the pink-skinned rodent. "My earth-goddess has commanded me to share with you the meaty fruit from her filthy womb" spoke Mozark. "Go ye back to your place of worship and eat of this ground nugget and gain ye all the knowledge and power that the universe has to offer." Without hesitation, the leader of the group dropped his book to the ground and seized the fetid mud hopper. The crowed pranced all the way back to their meeting hall with cheers of rejoice and songs of triumph for they knew that soon they would have all the answers. Mozark watched the people shrink to the horizon and heard the sounds of silence fill his head again. He took up the book that the man had dropped in exchange for the rabbit of knowledge and Mozark tore from it the first twelve pages and rolled from those twelve pages a miraculously tall mound of marijuana cigarettes. He took just one for his walk and left the rest for the next passers by so that they too would feel the vibrations below their feet and power in their hands should they need to find something to distract any obstacle that may come between them and their perfect day.
Humpty and Weasel
Humpty and Weasel
Mozark poured some old coffee into an empty glass and began to chug. The drugs had made him slow and apathetic and they must be dowsed with the wet black energy so that he may once again use his supernatural powers. The coffee was stale and bitter, but it would be enough to at least get the bones warm and the fingers itching for things to do. Just then, a scream from outside. Mozark raced to the window and saw the neighbor boy wobbling on the south wall about to lose his balance. What was that fool doing up on that wall? Mozark had -- just last week -- warned Little Patrick not to play on there; yet here he was and soon to realize why he was forbidden to dance his merry dance on top of a 12 foot wall. Mozark's dogs were ravenous. Howling at the wind and digging trenches all day stokes the belly's appetite. They were fed a beef carcass once a week, but -- as it was late in the week -- the carcass was beginning to smell, the thought of a fresh slab of meat drove electric sparks out their whiskers. The mud caked claws impatiently pawing at the base of the wall. The saliva flowing out of the hungry maws. The pup's eyes stretched wide as the wobbling stopped and the little one fell down, down, down. thud. The screams lasted for only two and a half minutes. Then it was just the happy clapping sound of wet jaws amidst heavy breath. Mozark inhaled the sweet morning air and the sunlight kissed his radiant face and the power of the universe entered his soul.
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