Home Again...

Home Again

Today Alan came home to see a trap door leading down into the depths of the netherworld on the floor in the middle of his sitting room. This mysterious door was left open and emerging from it was a skinless hellhound which barked fire and drooled asparagus pee. Alan had never in his memory confronted such a nasty beast and was certainly not expecting such an encounter to take place in his own home. As the hellhound snarled and dripped its oozy juices all on the carpet; Alan went through his mental rolodex of emotions searching for what could be an appropriate response to address the current situation. Fear was too obvious an emotion and Alan had experimented with fear all too frequently in his day to day life and was probably what held him back from accomplishing his goals. Sadness seemed like a good way to go and it fit the mood set by being eaten alive by a hellbeast - that is- if one had opted out of going for fear. Why go out on a sad note?- Alan thought. It was at that point that that he became deeply aroused, as if something ignited in his core. Yes, Alan decided that he would hump this hellhound back into the firey dark world that it sprung out of. Then Alan would follow that beast to its home and go on a raping spree of  all the demons and ghouls in its neighborhood so that all of hell would know and fear Alan's mighty shaft. This was a very pleasant thought for Alan to enjoy as the crazed beast approached, Alan loosened his belt, readying himself for the battle that was about to begin. The skinless monster came right up to Alan, then continued walking past him, down the hall, to the washroom, and helped itself to Alan's toilet where it proceeded to quench its thirst and -no doubt- rinse out that asparagus pee taste. Poor guy must have just been thirsty, and he came such a long way. Look at him lap up that water like he had not had a drink in years. The creature seemed to touch Alan's heart and -in a way- bring something to his home that had been missing--company. Alan named the wretched nightmare, Gus, and he dressed Gus up in a furry coat when it got cold outside and Gus ate up all the mean kids in the neighborhood and when there were no more mean kids, Gus ate the nice kids and when there were no more nice kids... well that is a whole nother story for a different time. Needless to say, Gus and Alan had a great life together and it was filled with many adventures.